Featured Expert |
RUSSELL FRIEDMAN
is an international authority on grief. Since 1987, he
has been the Executive Director of the Grief Recovery
Institute, http://www.grief.net,
and the Grief Recovery Certification Program. Russell
is the co-author of The Grief Recovery Handbook, and When
Children Grieve, He has experienced grief and recovery
personally with the death of his mother, two divorces,
and many other losses. |
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We invite you to read
some different but parallel ideas on the topic of Crying
and Grief by our colleague, Brenda Penepent, LPN |
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Tell
Your Friends! |
Get
a free copy
of our book! |
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If the eyes had no tears, the soul
would have no rainbow. |
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Native American Proverb |
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Look
what
RESOURCES
We have this week |
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Forwarding
or republishing information is permitted so long as you
have the following included with your usage:
"National
Grief Support Services gives permission to forward or
reprint information from Grief Matters, so long as it
is not altered, and the following information is included:
Grief Matters is a publication of National Grief Support
Services, ©2004,
GriefSupportServices.org" |
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GRIEF MATTERS
AUDIO |
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Live interviews
with our experts, discussing topics in greater depth,
are recorded for your convenience. Now you can get support
while you are in a car, plane, getting dressed or doing
chores. They also make great gifts. |
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What purpose or value does
crying have in recovery from loss? |
Let us say that crying
can represent a physical demonstration of emotional energy attached
to a reminder of someone or something that has some significance for
you. In fact, during our grief recovery seminars, when someone starts
crying, we gently urge them to “talk while you cry.” The emotions
are contained in the words the griever speaks, not in the tears that
they cry. What is fascinating to observe, is as the thoughts and feelings
are spoken, the tears usually disappear, and the depth of feeling
communicated seems much more powerful than mere tears.
Do not be fooled by those who cry frequently. In the strangest of
all paradoxes, people can actually use crying as a way to stop feeling
rather than to experience great depths of emotion. The tears become
a distraction from the real pain caused by the loss. |
If I start crying,
will I be able to stop? |
In our more than twenty-five
years of helping grieving people, we have never seen anyone who has
been unable to stop crying. |
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How can I recover
from the pain of loss? |
The key to recovery from
the incredible pain caused by death, divorce, and all other losses,
is contained in a simple statement: Each of us is unique and each
of our relationships is unique. Therefore, we must discover and complete
what is emotionally unfinished for us in all of our relationships.
Our personal belief systems about the display of emotions are also
unique and individual. We may not even have a conscious awareness
of what our own beliefs are. An alert to anyone young or old: “Don't
let anyone else dictate what is emotionally correct for you- not even
your children – or your parents. Only you get to determine what is
correct for you.” |
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If you need some help
in discovering or determining what might help you deal with a broken
heart caused by death, divorce or other losses, visit your local bookstore
or library and get a copy of The Grief Recovery Handbook. It contains
the kind of information that will lead you to your personal truth,
which in turn will help you complete the pain in your heart. |
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We are not in any way
against crying; in fact we probably have more cases of tissue than
any organization in the world. Tissues are the one tool of our trade.
What we are always focused on is recovery from emotional pain. We
are for fond memories not turning painful. We are for having a life
full of meaning and value even though a loss or losses may have made
your life massively different than you had hoped or dreamed. |
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Would You Like
To Learn More? Click Here |
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Publication
Disclaimer |
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National Grief Support
Services Inc. strives to present numerous resources
to assist people dealing with grief from any cause.
Opinions, philosophical approaches and suggestions
of authors presented in Grief Matters are their
own and do not represent or imply an endorsement
by National Grief Support Services or GriefSupportServices.org.
We recognize that there are numerous perspectives
on grief topics, and throughout our services we
attempt to help people access a wide range of them.
All information is presented in summary form only.
It should not be considered complete or used in
place of professional consultation. |
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