| Featured Expert |
| Our featured expert today is
DR. GEORGE F RHOADES, Jr., PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist
and the Director of Ola Hou Clinic in Pearl City, HI.
Dr. Rhoades is an international speaker conducting psychotherapeutic
workshops and seminars in Hawaii, Asia, Continental USA,
and Europe. He is the author of several publications in
the area of Anger Control Training, Sadistic Ritual Abuse,
and Christian Therapy. For more information or to contact
Dr. Rhodes, visit www.anger-management.net |
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| We invite you to read
some different but parallel ideas on the topic of Some
Thoughts on Rage |
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| Difficult as it is really to listen
to someone in affliction; it is just as difficult for
him to know that compassion is listening to him. |
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| Simone Weil, Waiting for
God |
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| Look
what
RESOURCES
We have this week |
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Grief Support Services gives permission to forward or
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Grief Matters is a publication of National Grief Support
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GriefSupportServices.org" |
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GRIEF MATTERS
AUDIO |
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| Live interviews
with our experts, discussing topics in greater depth,
are recorded for your convenience. Now you can get support
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| Can anger be harmful for your client? |
| Anger that is chronic
or that adversely affects lives; is harmful to your clients. It becomes
an issue when it affects relationships or our work. Anger is a normal
part of life, but when it lasts too long, occurs too frequently or
is too intense it becomes a problem. |
| Does long-lasting anger
stem from an unresolved situation or is it a sign of a serious psychological
problem? |
| Long-lasting anger can
be from both. Unresolved anger often leads to a lack of closure, and
to bitterness. Psychological problems can also manifest in anger;
a deep depression can have anger at its foundation. Anger can be expressed
in a psychotic episode, either with schizophrenia or in a manic state.
It is important to realize that anger that is not addressed tends
to cause us a number of physical, psychological, and relationship
problems such as stomach ulcers, bitterness, depression, loss of self-esteem
or relationships due to trust issues. |
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| So, how do I know my client’s
anger is out of control? |
One clear sign is when
your client tosses and turns at night, but the person that has triggered
the anger sleeps soundly. Anger often manifests itself in the ways
expressed above, lasting too long, etc. This tells us that anger is
extracting a heavy price in their lives.
A person who holds his anger in may develop stomach ulcers. Not expressing
his anger would literally eat him up alive. Anger is a problem when
its functions are mainly negative, not positive. The negative aspects
of anger include it disrupted thinking, leading to aggression, defensive
behavior and the negative impact of appearing as an angry person.
The positive aspects of anger are the energy that they have with the
release of adrenalin, the ability to communicate of how they feel,
and the ability to use that energy to both problem solve and to take
control of the situation. |
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| What are some ways that
I can help clients cope with chronic anger? |
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| Techniques for effective
anger management involve areas of their thinking, their emotions and
behaviors. The cognitive (or thinking coping skills) include helping
your client understand their anger, through an anger assessment and
journaling. It is also important to look at understanding the anger
of others, through empathy. The third way to deal cognitively with
anger is to look at our client’s thinking or self-talk. The
emotional area requires that they learn how to relax and to use time-out
procedures effectively. They also have to learn how to have humor
in their lives. The behavioral area requires that we teach them how
to communicate their feelings, be assertive, and to problem-solve.
The most powerful technique to control or manage anger is that of
closure, closing doors on the past and/or forgiveness. |
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| What about when a person
represses anger a long time and it emerges in unhealthy ways? |
| It is very common to not
address issues directly, but it comes back to haunt them eventually.
The issue is that if they hold on to anger, they suffer as the energy
of the anger affects their health and emotions. Anger that is held
in can often lead to health problems in the weak and vulnerable areas
of their lives. You may wish to suggest journaling feelings rather
than holding them in or allowing things to continue. If your client
is unable to address the issue directly, they may wish to talk it
out with a trusted friend or address it further with you. It’s
important to direct them to watch how their body reacts to anger situations,
and when they notice that they are getting angry, try to address the
issues sooner. |
| How do I help my client
release anger in healthy ways? |
| We used to think expressing
anger was the best way to get it out. The expression of anger was
perhaps yelling in a group format, hitting pillows, or even using
a rubber bat to “beat out one’s anger.” In reality,
this only leads people to link anger with the aggressive behavior
instead of promoting actual anger management. We want to encourage
individuals to get to the root of the anger. The healthy expression
of anger involves using the energy of anger to do constructive things,
to problem solve, and take charge of a situation and to communicate
their feelings. Hitting a pillow has its place, but redirecting anger
is much more effective. It is important to look at anger as a signal
that something is wrong. The first step is to look at what is wrong
and then to develop alternative ways of addressing the problem, other
than anger. |
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| Publication
Disclaimer |
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| National Grief Support
Services Inc. strives to present numerous resources
to assist people dealing with grief from any cause.
Opinions, philosophical approaches and suggestions
of authors presented in Grief Matters are their
own and do not represent or imply an endorsement
by National Grief Support Services or GriefSupportServices.org.
We recognize that there are numerous perspectives
on grief topics, and throughout our services we
attempt to help people access a wide range of them.
All information is presented in summary form only.
It should not be considered complete or used in
place of professional consultation. |
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